It sucks to be a prisoner of my own choice.
I want to go somewhere and I cannot simply because I choose not to.
I found someone has a new homepage and I cannot three-cheer simply because I am not allowing myself.
I want to drop in unannounced to say "hi" but I will not because I want to act socially correct.
I want to crash the party when someone gets a new job but I should not because I myself made me unwelcome.
Or maybe its just my Karma. The choice was already made ... and now I am only supposed to understand "why ?".
Or maybe its just the way the world stage is. Our actions and decisions are entwined with others. Coincidences and consequences make a lot of choices for us.
These feelings are therapeutic - "not you, not you" they say. Yet, I make my life difficult and ponder about the why and how of my captive mind ... in my own little world inside the world.
Anyway ... to all the good things out there, the really really good ones ... the kind which, maybe even just for a few seconds, teleports my mind to the tranquil island in this otherwise rushing world ... and I pause, maybe physically but at least emotionally, and appreciate the vivacity of simple joy ... I am really really glad you are out there.
Thanks and kudos.
PS: I know I am supposed to stay away from blogging and stuff for the next few days ... but it is hard since this is the only outlet of my thoughts.
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Most of us are captives of own thoughts. It is liberating to understand this. It would be even more liberating to use this understanding to better oneself.
ReplyDeleteBreaking free, however, could be a tough game. I think it ought to pay in the end, but it may be a lot harder than one bargains for in the beginning. A bit like PhD :)