DATE

You needn't care about my birthday.

What does it matter if it is Nov 7th or January 18th or ... for that matter ... e.g. May 20th. June 16th ... or anything you pick up from your tabletop calendar.

You will get a Lindt bar for answering this. When did we celebrate the birthday of Dr Martin Luther King Jr ?

You might reply, and you shalt if you are concerned about this country (USA) and hence your's too, January 19th. One day before the presidential inauguration. But if you are also careful, not a remarkable trait in this world of hi-tech gadgets, you would append in 2009. 'Cause the revered champion of human rights was born on January 15th, 1929. Did I hear a "Touche!" ?

You don't need the exact dates to remember any event. The grid of numbers, arranged by month and year, is our invention to enforce unanimity and bookmark days. And it is jolly well good at these. A calendar is ubiquitous now and no one questions its usefulness, even those who detest democracy. Nevertheless at the end of the day, it is merely a tool. And once in a while, we prefer our hand to a knife for shredding papers.

Sometimes events are of importance to the family, community, country or universe (do Martians care about Earth Day ?). To solemnise such events, we need to mark the day and synchronise it across the interested parties. But sometime events are like goosebumps during a Verdi opera. Where past is existential, present strew with virtual memories and future somber, days and months seem irrelevant. Just as hard it is to handpick a few good lines from a poetry.

Yet ... we are not perfect. There are always moments of weakness. So when the whole world shall rejoice, I shall also want to commemorate. At least wish. And probably I will. Ekla, nijer mone mone.

Ode to you, flower

When winter comes, can spring be far behind ?

Peeking outside my window, it seems spring has arrived with its wardrobe of pink finery. Looking inside, it is nevertheless winter. Summer is actually a good time. Green leaves, summer flowers, genteel nature. Then there is autumn, or fall as they say here. Suddenly love is in the air ... trees, riverside walks, even the clouds floating in the river look happy. Then strides in winter. It eventually starts getting depressing and you dream of the good ol' times. You cannot wait for the spring, because often future will not replay the past.

You remember the sparkle in the raindrop on a leaf that few even cared to notice, you remember the smile of the bar girl that was not to earn extra tip, you remember the sudden flutter of the pigeons when you walked past them ... all the silly moments that enriched your life nonetheless. Sometimes the phoenix rises without a purpose, just to glorify the fact that imagination need not die... my voice of appreciation for some such moments that I witnessed (a snippet):

...
Ode to you
O' flower of life.
Ode to your dance in the breeze,
The spirit you hide,
in the core of your heart.
Your grace in the sun,
Sing an ode to thee.

Island of Oil

Have you ever dropped water in oil ? Broke egg in water (if you haven't ... you have to make egg poach for yourself - they are healthy, easy to make and delicious).

The yellow yolk is guarded by the super-hero egg whites. As if the tender yolk, the seed of life, has created a world within world for itself.

I think we learn from nature and we ought to. She teaches us all the million different ways to protect ourselves, to ensure only the fittest survives, to grind teeth and fight through the bad nights, which she has been doing since the first seed germinated in this blue-green heaven.

I am about to slip into this world into world mode. Catch me if you can. I am media shy but then again I am not running for Oscars this year ... ok... I am also people shy. Now I will be visible even less. What might be noticeable is my e-visibility. Expect replies to take time. Profiles to disappear suddenly ... all these and more.

I will blog though... since this is my only outlet of pent up emotions. Well... no one reads my blog anyway... so no one should care. Don't expect any useful information in this blog - there won't be any. Call my secretary to know about my next meeting with the President.

Me and Night (edited)

On Friday, I watched Grease (good musical, not so good movie for my gen, the play must be wonderful).
On Saturday, I finished Eleven minutes (the first 140 pages enlightening, rest 120 pages were wisdom I was not looking for... more later).
On Sunday, I watched Gran Torino (its not your average gang movie ... I should write about it).
On Friday, I propose (presentation almost ready ... but I should shut myself off till Friday 4pm).

And last night I had a dream. I previously posted a poetic rendering of it but I should not have done so. Dreams are very very personal experience; words already endanger its fidelity and public broadcasting is akin to a dire sin.

It was like a dream within a dream. I was lying awake in my dream ... disturbed ... like I am usually at night. And then ... when ...

...
রাত্রে তখন চাঁদের সাথে মেঘের খেলা শেষ ।
সন্ধ্যা রাতের গজল গীতের ফুরিয়ে গেছে রেশ ।
বুকভাঙ্গা যত প্রেমিকের,
পেটে খিদে নিয়ে
কাঁদতে কাঁদতে
ঘুমিয়ে পড়া শিশুদের
জননী,
হাহাকারকে ভাগ্য ভেবে ঘুমায় ক্লান্ত দেশ ।
জোনাকি নিভে আসে,
...

there was this moment of Zen after which I fell asleep in my dream and possibly soon after woke up in reality. That moment stays etched in memory, it was august, space filled with the divine fragrance of aguru, cool breeze from the cloud covered moon caressed me and there was a sudden sense of peace, in my dream within dream. It was very peaceful and it had a spiritual effect on me even after I woke up, woke up to the real world, to get ready for mundane chores. I put them in words soon after but I am sure they could not transgress the experience.

PS: Title inspired by something N. said long ago.

Captive mind

It sucks to be a prisoner of my own choice.

I want to go somewhere and I cannot simply because I choose not to.
I found someone has a new homepage and I cannot three-cheer simply because I am not allowing myself.
I want to drop in unannounced to say "hi" but I will not because I want to act socially correct.
I want to crash the party when someone gets a new job but I should not because I myself made me unwelcome.

Or maybe its just my Karma. The choice was already made ... and now I am only supposed to understand "why ?".

Or maybe its just the way the world stage is. Our actions and decisions are entwined with others. Coincidences and consequences make a lot of choices for us.

These feelings are therapeutic - "not you, not you" they say. Yet, I make my life difficult and ponder about the why and how of my captive mind ... in my own little world inside the world.

Anyway ... to all the good things out there, the really really good ones ... the kind which, maybe even just for a few seconds, teleports my mind to the tranquil island in this otherwise rushing world ... and I pause, maybe physically but at least emotionally, and appreciate the vivacity of simple joy ... I am really really glad you are out there.

Thanks and kudos.

PS: I know I am supposed to stay away from blogging and stuff for the next few days ... but it is hard since this is the only outlet of my thoughts.